Rebirth
by chibi-ringo
Summary: Heero shows up 4 years after the Mariemaia incident. What is Relena going to do? Hug him? Strangle him? Mwahaha! You'll have to read to find out!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.

Rebirth

She thought she had seen some brief flicker of emotions in his eyes. What was it? Guilt? Hurt? Confusion? she pondered. No, she dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come. The Perfect Soldier, have feelings? Impossible, she scoffed. "Yeah, right. And I'd sooner lead the people to arms," the pacifist princess muttered to herself sarcastically. She placed her brush back down on the dresser as she glanced out the window at the stars. Hn...perhaps I was too hard on him, she thought.

******

"Relena."

Caught off guard, Relena whirled around to face the source of that monotonous male voice. "Heero?" she asked as she inched her way to her open bedroom balcony, still clutching the hairbrush she had just been running through her beautiful golden tresses.

"Relena," he repeated in the same detached voice as he emerged from his shadowy hiding place. He looked almost exactly like he had when she had first met him: handsome. His unruly chocolate brown hair and Prussian blue orbs hadn't changed, but he had grown taller and more muscled, not that she minded. And just like before, when her eyes found his, she felt herself falling. Oh, how she had missed those cobalt blue eyes. To others, they might have seemed cold and expressionless, but she knew better. "You've been getting careless." His voice caused her to snap out of the trance she had been in.

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked a thoroughly puzzled Relena.

Heero gestured to the open balcony doors. "If I were an assassin, you'd be dead by now."

"Come on, Heero," said a slightly exasperated Relena. "It's already been four years since Mariemaia's reign and nothing has happened since-"

"That's not the point," he cut her off. "The point is that something could _potentially _happen." He paused to make sure he had her full attention before continuing, "You're too important to lose. The peace between the Earth and the Colonies is still too fragile. They need you."

"Is that what you came back for?" She could feel her temper climb and her eyes begin to water. She put on, or at least attempted to put on, her diplomatic face, hoping that it would help conceal some of her inner turmoil. But, she knew it probably wouldn't work with him; he could read her like a children's book in a well-lit room. "Why now, Heero? Why did you have to come back now? After all this time?" All she could think was, Why did you have to come back _now_? Just when I thought I was _over_ you. Why _now_? She could feel it: her mask, her only line of defense from him...Heero Yui...a Gundam Pilot...the Perfect Soldier, begin to crumble. 

"Your brother, Zechs, asked me to," came the calm reply. 

The brush fell to the floor with a clatter. "Milliardo?" Relena didn't know what surprised her more: Heero actually answering the question instead of just ignoring her or that Milliardo had been the one to ask Heero to come. They had never liked each other, admired and respected each other as pilots maybe, but never friendly towards one another; they were more like rivals. So why in the world would Milliardo _do_ such a thing? And why would Heero agree? He could have just told Milliardo to get one of the other Gundam Pilots.

"He's been receiving some unconfirmed reports about a new terrorist group," Heero's voice broke into her thoughts, "and they want _you_. That's why he contacted me. To ask me to protect you until they got to the bottom of everything."

As soon as she heard the word "terrorist," Relena felt her mask completely dissolve. She already started to get a sinking feeling when she heard that her brother had asked him here, but all hopes that he might have come back because he actually cared for her was unmercifully squashed by that one word. Now, she knew that _that_ was the reason why he had come back. Not because he loved her, as she had so desired, but because of, "A mission," she heard herself state. "That's why you came back," she whispered as her body began shaking from the torrent of sobs and tears that seized her.

"Relena." He moved closer to try to comfort her.

"Don't touch me," she hissed as she slapped his hand away. She glanced up at him through her tears; he was just standing there, staring at the hand she had just refused comfort from. Huh? Relena wondered as she looked at his eyes. What is it? Is he actually shocked? There's something else too...pain? No, it can't be. He doesn't feel. I'm just imagining things, she thought to herself. When she looked into his eyes again, they appeared to have returned to their usual emotionless state. You see? It was all just in your imagination, a part of her jeered. How could you be so _stupid_, Relena? To actually believe that he had any real feelings, her mind said as her anger started to rise again.

"Rele-" he started once more.

That was it. She wasn't going to take it anymore. He'd broken her heart enough times. "Leave," she commanded.

"Please, Relena, let me explain."

Did he just say "please?" He'd never done _tha_t before. He had always just ordered her around. Who the hell cares if he said "please?!" her temper flared. He thinks that he can waltz back into my life anytime he wants and expects me to obey him?! Well, he's in for a _big_ surprise, she seethed. "Why are you still here?" she asked in an unusually calm and quiet tone. She didn't give him a chance to answer, though, before yelling, "Why the _hell_ are you still here?! I want you to get out of here!! Now!!" He didn't move. He was just standing there. "GET-THE-HELL-OUT-OF-HERE!!!" she raged as she moved forward and slapped him hard across the face. The smack seemed to echo in the now deadly quiet room.

"I-I-I'm sorry...Relena," Heero stuttered, obviously startled by the slap from Relena. All he could do was turn and run.

As she watched him flee, she felt all her anger and hurt and confusion dissipate until she felt nothing. Just…nothing. She dropped to the floor. No tears, no cursing, no pain...just a numbness. And that's how her mother had found her. Slumped on the cold, hard, wooden floor...devoid of all feelings...dead...

******

She looked back at her reflection. When did I get this old? she wondered as she examined all her little wrinkles. She was only twenty, but she could have probably passed for someone twice that. All the worry lines and the dark bags she had underneath her eyes from the lack of sleep had marred her once smooth skin. How she wished she were a bear, so she could sleep all winter long, but no. She was the Vice Foreign Minister; she didn't have time to sleep, she had a responsibility to the people. Her eyes were the only things that had actually remained youthful throughout all the hardships: her father's death, finding out that she was a descendant of the Peacecraft family, the war, being held hostage by Mariemaia, all the diplomatic meetings, and...Heero. But the shine was gone now, her eyes were lifeless, just like the rest of her.

******

Relena woke up in the midst of a big pile, and several mini-piles, of papers. Her eyes focused on the clock hiding beneath some papers. It was only six thirty in the morning; she still had plenty of time to get ready before her next meeting. She made her way to her bedroom to change when she noticed something on the lap of the teddy bear Heero had given her for her birthday. She went to the bed and sat down next to the little bear wearing an adorable red bow tie. It was a letter:

Relena,

I'd rather   
jump out of the fiftieth floor of another medical building than say   
I love you, though I do  
I'd rather   
fight another losing battle than call you  
darling, though you are  
I'd rather  
be in Wing Gundam when it self-detonates again than hug you though  
it's what I long to do  
I'd rather  
duel with Zechs than  
ask if you love me  
so if my  
hair doesn't stay in place it's because   
I never brush it  
and if my   
heart isn't in my mouth it's because  
it knows its place  
and if I  
don't show any emotions it's because  
I was trained not to  
and if you  
miss the message better get new   
glasses and read it twice  


Heero

With each tear, she could feel the numbness slowly fade away and a warm sensation take its place. She lovingly picked up the little bear and hugged it. She felt happy, truly happy. It had been such a long time since she had felt like this. For the past five years of her life, she had just been a shell, a tool of peace, but that was all changed now. She felt alive again. "Heero...thank you." 

************

So??? What did you guys think? I hoped you liked it. This was my first time ever writing a fanfic so if you have any comments or suggestions I'd really like to hear them. This was actually for an English poetry assignment. We were supposed to choose 1 of 12 poems and write a story about it. Anyways, here's the original poem:

First Person Demonstrative  
By Phyllis Gotlieb  
  
I`d rather  
heave half a brick then say  
I love you, though I do  
I`d rather  
crawl in a hole than call you  
darling, though you are  
I`d rather  
wrench off an arm then hug you though  
it`s what I long to do  
I`d rather  
gather a posy of poison ivy than  
ask if you love me  
so if my  
hair doesn`t stand on end it`s because  
I never tease it  
and if my heart isn`t in my mouth it`s because  
it knows it`s place  
and if I  
don`t take a bite of your ear it`s because  
gristle gripes my guts  
and if you  
miss the message better get new  
glasses and read it twice


End file.
